"Your words have no power to alter the truth. Your perception does not affect any reality but your own... it is your words and deeds that cast your reflection. "

~Luna Jade, musician

Sunday, July 15, 2007

From Schepps Lane to Heritage Park

During my stay there, I usually slept on the sofa. It was actually quite comfortable in the autumn as the temperature wasnt really all that bad. Come the cold weather, however, sleeping on the sofa wasnt exactly the best place to be sacked out. his mom liked to do what most people up north do, turn down the thermostat a bit at night to save on energy. They had small bedrooms so the rooms for the most part stayed pretty cozy all night so long as the doors were closed and you threw on an extra blanket. Woe to those who were stuck in the livingroom to sleep though as it got very very chilly even WITH the extra blanket. Jim, noticing one night how chilly it was, suggested that I sleep in his room. Mind you, there was only a twin size bed in that room and no way in hell could both of us fit which means SOMEONE was going to have to sleep on the floor. Do you think he'd give up that bed even once in my stay there? Nope. Not even once. Not EVEN after the one night that he managed to hurt me.

Jim was (and is) a history buff. So much so that every waking moment is used for learning more history. History games, books, documentaries etc etc ruled his days. I should have known that there was no way in hell anyone would come between him and that mistress for sure. When I say every waking moment, I mean even up to lights out he'd be reading about something historical and he had this tendancy to lean towards wars. Did I mention that he also walked and talked in his sleep? One night he woke me out of a deep sleep because he was screaming "In COMING!!"...he'd been reading about one of those wars again and there were missles involved. *sigh* Ok I can handle an episode of this, really, so long as it's not every night and it didnt occur every single night. One night was particularly bad. Im not sure wtf he was reading but he woke up screaming. I was lying on my left side with my back to the bed as usual and as I started to turn onto my back and get up to try and calm him, the dream took a turn for the worst and he tried to get out of bed. Yep, I took both feet to the ribs as he swung his legs out of bed and attempted to stand up. God that hurt. Of course I screamed out and began crying which shifted his dream I guess because he sat there and tried to comfort me. Thankfully I could still breathe and it didnt feel like anything was broken. The next morning when we got up and were getting ready for work, he walked in on me changing in his room and saw the huge bruise on my ribs. He asked me where I got them from , figuring I got them while at work. I looked at him square in the face and said "You stepped on me asshole...those bruises are your damn fault". Last I knew, he never set his feet straight on the floor again while getting out of bed. He'll sit up with at least 6" between his feet and the floor and then slowly set them down.... even in his sleep. Yeah I should have left him then, but it was an accident and not purposefully in anger.

We looked for several weeks for just the right apartment in the right location. I should rephrase that to say, I looked for several weeks. Even though he was all set to get his own place, he just didnt have the drive to actively look on his own. This was a huge flag of things to come when it came to something as simple as job hunting. I found an apartment in that week's ads in a very nice section of town close to where I was working at the time and wanted to go see it. They had a good deal in the ad. Lease with them and get the third month rent free. He waited until the next week to bring me. Can anyone say too late? I know you can...go ahead. We all know the deals in this week's ads are good only for how long? Usually this week only. We want to remember this.

Heritage Park apartments were (are) located in Liverpool, NY. They were a few minutes away from the Stylish Women warehouse where I was working. Granted he'd have to drive a ways for his job, but it at least cut our travel in half as he wouldnt need to make 2 trips to Liverpool for me. Plus if he had to work late there were a couple gals that lived close enough where they could drop me off if need be. We talked with the leasing agent and had mentioned the ad. She had verbally said yes to it but never put it in the lease. When the error had been discovered (that the ad was from the previous week and she shouldnt have said yes to it), it had gotten to that third month so I didnt pay the rent. A week later they called looking for the rent and I told them that the agent had said the third month was free. I was told that the ad was for the week before (it had been a month ad and we'd seen it on the last week of the run for the special) and that we'd leased at the first of the month which didnt fall under the special. We went in and worked out an arrangemet with the leasing agent (the dimwit) and arranged to pay the rent every 2 weeks as it had thrown our finances out of whack. A couple months later we get a call from the owner and no we cant be paying it that way and no that other agent no longer works for them. *sigh* Needless to say we ended up having to move again.

Im not remembering any specific fight here to be honest. I do remember there were alot of them and most of them about money or how I embarrassed him for this or that or I kept him waiting too long when he came to pick me up from work....like I can really control that. I remember alot of times going to a closet to cry. I dont know why, I just felt safer there...not that the doors would have stopped him if he wanted to do anything. I do remember being miserable, especially when that crap came down with the leasing office. Damn jerks. Stupid me for not getting it all in writing though and boy you can bet I caught hell from him over this even though HE had alot to do with the problems too.


ChicagoLady said...

I can't even begin to imagine the pain when he stepped on you! Ouchie!!!!!!!

BTW, deals in this week's ads are usually only good for a week, lol.

LadyStyx said...

LOL..yeah I know that, you know that. Him on the otherhand....

It was bad for several weeks as it healed. At this point, Im beginning to wonder if it healed properly at all.