More Memories from the Deerfield Park timeframe

Closets are a big problem for me still. The ones here arent so bad as they have actual hinged doors on them and not the sliding ones most places have. He had a hinged wooden door in his closet at his folks' house. This flashback is a particularly strong one for me. I dont know if it's because of what was done or because of what I said afterwards that makes it so strong. I remember one night, sometime after I moved into the apartment and before MM* and I had our talk...possibly before Thanksgiving, Im not sure on the timing here (Im beginning to wish I'd started my diary so much earlier...maybe I would have seen all this alot sooner). His folks, although they had a beautiful console tv in the livingroom and some really comfy furniture, would spend their nights in the small den. I could understand in the winter as it was cozier back there. This gave Jim and I the livingroom to ourselves. Anyhow, this was another one of those nights that he physically locked me out of his life and tonight it was earlier than usual. After a couple hours (he went in right after supper), I was tired of sitting alone so I knocked on his door. I damn well he could hear me as that room wasnt all that big (barely enough for a twin bed, rocker, desk, small dresser and nightstand) nor was he making a hell of alot of noise where I couldnt be heard. Well I got ignored and so I knocked again. Yet again I was ignored, when I knocked a third time....his folks basically had enough, came out of the den and told him to open his door, that it was rude to have company and not be out visiting with them. Well of course this didnt sit well with him. It wouldnt sit well with anyone to be honest but this was happening all the time and I think they noticed this. All I had wanted was my purse because I was getting ready to walk home and all he had to do was open the friggin door and find out what I wanted. If I had my keys on me or the purse handy I would have just plain ole left and he wouldnt have known til he came out or until his folks noticed and asked him about it later (which would have been just as bad because I would have heard it the next day). So I go in to get my purse and he closes the door and starts in on me right then and there about how damn embarrassed he is and all sorts of shit. Then he took a step towards me and of course I took a step back as a reflex. In the process of stepping back away from him (remember this room isnt all that big PLUS it's cluttered with books and stuff), I lost my balance and fell into the closet right on top of several models that he'd *just* finished a week or so ago. How do I know they were only there a week? Because I'd had to paint the buggers. This, of course, brought his folks running as it had made such a clatter. What do they find but me on my ass in the closet and him standing over me fist in the air. Well both of them railed into him like there was no tomorrow and he stormed off, leaving the house for a walk. I was bawling at the time and grabbed my purse and started to head out. His father asked where I thought I was going and I told him I was going home. He said that no I wasnt walking home that Jim WOULD bring me home when he got back and if he wasnt back in an hour that I was to come and let him know and HE'D take me home. In an hour Jim returned and did indeed take me back to the apartment...ordered me into the car like I was his friggin dog though. We didnt speak for about 2 days and then it was like nothing had never happened. I did tell him about now that if that EVER happened again and he raised his hand against me in anger I was gonna be so gone.

I remember Thanksgiving that year. MM* and I had a small dinner party. There were 2-3 mutual friends from highschool plus 1-2 each that the other wouldnt know. She'd known of Jim but hadnt really had a chance to meet him up to this point. Now that I think of it, it was right about then he was wanting to stay over all the damn time. *sigh* Man I hate 20/20 hindsight. I cant blame him for having a thing for her (assuming he did and I bet he did). She was (and still is) rather on the petite side, very pretty and half Italian like he was. Now that I really think of it, she was built much like his mom would have been at that age before illnesses took her over and made her gain weight. *double sigh*. Anyhow, he seemed to have brought his best manners that night. I dont know where he lost them afterwards, but they were present that night. I spent most of the night waiting for the other shoe to drop as I just *knew* something would happen. It didnt...surprisingly enough.

I dont remember decorating the apartment for Christmas so Im guessing it had to be right after Thanksgiving that he insisted on staying all the time and about 2 weeks after that MM* and I had our talk where she said she wanted ME for the roomie...she didnt bargain on getting him too. I really wish she'd have worded it differently, maybe then I would have gotten the shot in the ass I needed to leave him. However, she didnt and of course I had to tell him he could no longer stay over. This of course pissed him off to no end. Instead of having another arguement with him I figured it was just best to move out of the apartment (I'd only been there maybe 2-3 months tops as I remember autumn weather when I moved in) and in with him and his folks.